As A Diabetic, Can’t I Sue Someone Over This?

Dennis Ryan, Advertising, OlsonSo apparently, anyone lucky enough to have attended the San Diego County Fair this past weekend experienced the latest breakthrough from the food development team at Krispy Kreme. At least I think they are food scientists: from the look of their latest creation, they well may be pulmonary assassins on some corporate mission to eradicate non-clogged auricles and ventricles.

Whatever their mission, they introduced a deep-fried beef ball at the Chicken Charlie’s food stand this past Saturday. Their innovation amounted to a glazed donut bun filled with Sloppy Joe meat and cheddar cheese. You read that right. And yes, I can hear you occluding just reading that past sentence.

Dennis Ryan, Advertising, Olson

And yet, this is a classic case of ‘give the people what they want.’ Last year, Chicken Charlie’s served up fried cereal.  This year, in addition to this Krispy Kreme abomination, they also have a bacon-wrapped pickle and fried Kool-Aid, along with more prosaic fair fare like fried avocados and fried Klondike bars. It’s almost as if they heard the American public yell a collective ‘Uncle!’ before they entered the fairgrounds, surrendering all dignity, self-respect, and standards of decency before the altar of kill devil culinary consumerism. This is reminiscent of nothing so much as dining on a bet.

A few years ago, our society deemed it just to ban Captain Crunch from kid advertising due to it’s thin nutritive value. And yet a seamy, Summertime underbelly of America welcomes this kind of sensationalistic disregard for dietetic decency as totally acceptable. Pardon me if I seemed confused…

By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Olson

That Sound You Heard Last Night Was My Arteries Occluding

In the 50’s, Jack LaLanne brought fitness awareness to mainstream America via television. In the 60’s, Julia Child brought French cooking to mainstream America via television and a best selling cook book. And in December, 2008, the BBQ Addicts blog brought the Bacon Explosion to mainstream America via the virality of the nutritionally unthinkable.

If you like bacon, the Bacon Explosion is magic. If you like pork, it’s super magic. And if you like them rolled together in an unholy protein mash up even Robert Atkins might consider excessive, this is your holy grail. Of course, if you’re vegetarian, some well-meaning fella did create one out of tempeh but that’s just kind of depressing…

The sheer surprise and audacity of this recipe idea made it a natural pass along on the forward-friendly web, quickly leading this monstrous concoction to widespread awareness and ultimately, my plate during last night’s game.  And I’m more than just okay with that…

A quick Google search turns up nearly 1.7 million results, including step-by-step how-to’s and video cooking demonstrations.  And one of those seemingly endless posts inspired my brother-in-law Chris to create one. Of course, now that the Pack proved triumphant, I can pretty much expect this for every Green Bay post-season game: Christopher has his superstitions.

Anyway, this is what glory looks like in photographs. Enjoy…

Dennis Ryan, Element 79, Chicago Advertising

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By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79

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