So My Friend Marty Invited Me To Watch Lindsay Lohan Having Sex With A HOT Girl…

So did my friend Bill. And Kevin. And yes, Pam too. All of which was odd since none of them ever demonstrated a pronounced pervy streak.  Certainly not one strong enough to compel them to schedule a pornshow at 10:21 am on a weekday. But that wasn’t the only odd Facebook Event invite I’ve received lately.

Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79Last week, a couple of guys I work with in the film industry seemed obsessed by CLIP OF HORRIFIC BUNGEE JUMPING ACCIDENT and they too, invited me to share their dark and depraved tastes via Facebook.  Separately, both wanted to know if I’d be attending their randomly-timed screening of the presumably gruesome clip: Yes?  No?  Maybe?

It doesn’t take an IT genius to realize someone’s hacking lots of Facebook accounts and sending out these titillating come-ons in hopes of having intrigued (or dumbfounded) people open the links out of pure curiosity.  This continual annoyance poses a far more immediate threat to Facebook than Jesse Eisenberg’s big screen interpretation of Mark Zuckerberg’s evil nerdery.  But what really gets me is that somewhere, somebody is trying to write the most compelling, come-on headlines to lure the unaware and all they can come up with is sex and violence.  They don’t even have the creativity to mash those two into something more singular like say “HORRIFIC Linsday Lohan Sex Tape Accident.”

“Wolf Blitzer Attends G-8 Summit in Mime” “Baby Pitches No Hitter” “Jimmie Johnson’s NASCAR Launch off the USS Enterprise”…these are things I want to see.  Seriously, use some imagination, account hackers.

Even as I finish this post, another one just came in from my friend Mitch, inviting me to the event “SHOCKING McDonald’s Video.”  It’s on today, at 9:51 pm.  And somehow, I bet it involves Hamburglar…never trusted his creepy little laugh.


By Dennis Ryan, CCO, Element 79


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